Jiminy Crickets People!

Well, Jiminy Crickets people, what an amazing week I've had!

I was about to sit down and write my next post tonight when I got a blocked phone call.  I had just got off the phone with my new friend Illene.  She is a post transplant patient who has Scleroderma.  We met online on the UPMC Lung Transplant FB page, and this was the first time we had spoken on the phone.  After an emotional and uplifting phone call, I had sat down at my computer in the living room and was fielding questions from Pat (my wonderful mother-in-law) and Steve, when my phone rang again.  The number was blocked, which I was curious about, but for some reason it didn't even occur to me that it was 10pm already.  I answered it without thinking, and it was Coline from the transplant center.

Coline said they had a potential offer for me and Dr. Shigamora wanted her to call me and see if I was willing to accept lungs tonight.  I said, well yes, we are in Pittsburgh, so yes I am here..?  Then I said that I thought that was a funny question to ask me.  Coline said she was under the impression that I had turned down lungs before, which I had not.  I explained to her I was listed on Feb 8th, and she was the very first phone call I had received.  She apologized and wanted to get off the phone with me and verify some information, that I was the correct patient, but promised she would call me right back.

Holy Cow!  Well, I am very proud of us.  We were calm, cool, and collective, and just waiting for her to call us back.  We already have our bag packed, and a list on the wall of stuff to grab before we go.  Before this week, I think I would have passed out, vomited, or burst into tears...but I really did have an amazing week. 

Coline (and yes she pronounced like you Mrs. McNew!) called back and confirmed that the lungs were for me, but that she had just talk to Dr. Shigamora, he had gotten more information about the lungs, but unfortunately his decision was that they would just be too big for me even with the Lobar procedure.  So, a false call.  The other stuff about me turning down lungs was confusion about some other patient.  Coline apologized profusely to me, but I really felt like it was good practice for us...she was my first phone call and I told her so. 

But boy is it REAL now, I'm starting to get "offers". 

My poor sister...she flew out this morning to spend a few weeks back home.  We all had that same thought..."she just flew out".  I called and told her about, because if I didn't she would have read about it on here anyway.  Best to hear from me.  I know it's a hard choice, staying here waiting with me, or going back home to be with her family.  We will definitly need her after the surgery, but I also know she wants to be here right when it happens.  But you can't predict the future, it could happen anytime.  (Andrea, you should not change your plans...spend some time with the family, it's OK :)

Steve's mom flew in this afternoon to spend her spring break with us.  What a first night it has been!  And one of my bestie's, Jen, is coming in for a few days next week. Yay!

I also found out tonight that my little brother and his fiancee (check out Siren Fitness in PC people, Amanda rocks!) have set a date for the wedding...it will be in September.  I'm so excited, so now I am even more ready to get this surgery over so I can be home for the big event!!

I got two goodie packages this week.  One from the Taylor's with all kinds of surprises, and peanut butter oreos! Yum.  Which are already gone, but I must point out that my health nut roomies were eating them too!  I also got to hang up some beautiful pictures Garrett and Jackson drew for me.  I put them on my Inspiration Wall, where I have been hanging all the notes of love and support I have received. 

And my Aunt Sue baked a bunch of cookies for us, chocolate chip, macadamia, oatmeal raisin!  Steve had 8 before we could get them in the cabinet.

I got a lot of work done this week, and some major things on my To Do list before the surgery, so it felt really good.  I had an awesome time at Pulmonary Rehab on Thursday, Maria was using the hand warmers I gave her, and I just had a really good workout.  I did 4 extra laps, so up to 12 now, and it felt awesome.  I got home, finished up some more work stuff....and I really don't know what came over me.  Maybe it was the endorphins, which I haven't been able to work out enough to get anymore?  I was tired, but a good tired. 

I was sitting on the couch and we were about to eat dinner, and this wave of calmness washed over me.  Literally, it felt like a wave that went right over me....and I looked at Steve and said, wow I think I'm OK with it now.  Maybe this was the result of all the wonderful prayers that are being said for me across the nation, actually the world, all the positive energy being sent my way, or maybe it was my Mom standing beside me....I don't know what changed in me, but I definitely feel calmer about the surgery and I am EXTREMELY thankful to anyone and everyone who may have had a part in it. 

I have also been doing some self exercises in remembering and writing down how I got here and how sick I really am.  I have a bunch written down, which I haven't posted yet, but will.  I think that has helped me too. 

I've been thinking about what I really want out of this transplant, and sure I think of all the things I could do before like hiking, scuba diving (apparently not allowed post transplant by the way), running, traveling the world again, etc.  We talk about doing marathons and going back to Oktoberfest...and I really do hope that I will feel that much better and it certainly is a possibility, but when I quit daydreaming :)  really what I want most....is to live a normal life again.  I would like to be able to take care of my husband the way he has had to take care of me for the last several years.  I want to be able to cook and clean for him, to do his laundry, to go to the store, to get up and get him a glass of water from the kitchen, to be able to walk down the street with him.  Sounds so simple, but that is exactly what I want soo bad....I want to give back to him what he has so graciously given me, because without him, I certainly wouldn't have made it this far. 

Wow, I think I just found some of my old strength right there :)